I'm not real sure where to start with this entry without being as raw as I will likely ever get on this blog.
At a very young age for a million different reasons we don't have to delve into, I became very self conscious about my body. I never have been and never will be super-model material. I am 5'4" and somewhere around 125-130 in any given season. Far from perfect. I struggle to stay at this weight and a lot of it is because of how much I enjoy all food. I beat myself up and worry more about what I see than the average woman does, and I am sure of that. I have a husband who thinks I'm the most gorgeous thing he's ever set eyes on (or at least he leads me to believe that, which is what counts) and how I see me is all in my own head. Honestly, it sucks, but I'm trying to conquer it. Within the last year I have told myself that I want to love my body. It does so much for me, so I should love it in return. Every day I wake up this side of the dirt is a GREAT day, and I have my body to thank for that. But still...the thought of wearing shorts in public on an upcoming trip has me petrified to the point I am putting them on every day and wearing them around the house just to get used to the idea. A little crazy, I know. I weigh myself and measure and over think things to the point of exhaustion sometimes. Oddly, I think this food blog is helpful...because past all this, I want to share what brings me joy...even if it's a little silly that I love food so much. I also find comfort in the balance between loving food and being healthy. Because if I'm sure about anything, I'm sure I'm not alone in my struggle with body dysmorphic disorder, and that is not healthy...so aside from wanting to share my love to travel and eat and to travel TO eat...I want to also inspire. I want to remember that wearing shorts is okay (just like it's okay I posted photos of myself in shorts & I'm likely the only one worried about it), I want the people reading this to know how beautiful they are and its alright to indulge sometimes without guilt...and betting healthy is paramount, but you need not to obsess :-)
So, this morning, the morning after my penne and cheese deliciousness (that the "new me" refuses to regret), my alarm sounds at 4:30 and I begin my day. My garage is a bit of a mess but it's equipped with some awesome fitness stuff! Something far more important than food is living a healthy lifestyle...being happy and taking care of your body. Why don't I have a "fitness blog" or a "health food blog"...Well...I am not necessarily the poster child for fitness and healthy eating....I love food...and thats MUCH more interesting to me than fitness...albeit a little crazy...I'm a little crazy..so it works!
Today I did a workout I came up with myself...and while it may not have burned the entire 600 calories in 8 bites of penne and cheese...it still was sweaty and wonderful. I've attached a photo, you should try it sometime. It's a tough one, and a solid half hour minimum...but it will feel good, and earn you some points toward a nice meal outside of veggies and boring chicken. Who the hell WANTS to eat that all the time? NOT I!
Bottom line is I'm not perfect, I'm normal (mostly) and I really want to enjoy life and live outside of the usual "eat your veggies and don't use salt" realm. This blog isn't for everyone...heck...really it's for me, and if I can entertain or inspire you along the way, awesome sauce!
Cheers,
Andrea
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